I hate "Happy Holidays"

Seriously, this is the worst phrase ever... it's like that whole you can't bring cupcakes to school bullshit because one kid in your class is a fatty! Well, they need to do what we did and make fun of Eddie Mann.

Happy Holidays is just some lame excuse for some piss poor soccer mom to make a scene because she didn't get prom queen and now she's a giant attention whore in hopes of rekindling her high school years. Well to you I say, way to ruin it for everyone cunt.

And no, this is not an antisemetic view. When Hanukkah becomes the festival of "kill people over Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls" instead of the Festival of Lights then we can start saying Happy Holidays. But until then, wish everyone a Merry Christmas because after the shit they went through in the malls to get their little Suzy a Barbie doll she wanted, Lord only knows they need to be wished a Merry something... else they may wind up shoving good old Barbie down Suzy's throat when Suzy breaks Grandpa's needlessly expensive and delicate glass fishing rod.

And none of this Happy Christmas either, we're in America thank you very much. Not some confused on which holiday is which country.
Happy Hannukah <- notice the illiteration.
Merry Christmas <- Happy was already taken.
Care-free Christmas <- More illiteration... I think it works, go with that.

In closing, I would like to point out also... that Kwanza is not a real holiday.


So Merry Christmas everyone. And Happy Hanukkah for the next like week.