I have been great for 3 days, now I am not.
I feel worse than I have in a very long time. I do not even want to move right now. I tried to eat to stop this sinking feeling in my stomach, ate ravioli and spat it out. I don't really know why I am even typing this... because I'm sure no one wants to hear about how depressed I am. I just felt like you all deserved to know why I am such a shit if I decide to come out at all over the next couple weeks. But chances are I'll just be going to work and staying home.
We all have our problems, and I'm not trying to sound like mine are the worst in the world, because they're not. But we all deal with shit differently, and maybe some of you would've been fine with the shit I've put up with in my life... but I'm not. And to have someone who you thought was better than that, throw things about your past that they know upsets you in your face as ammunition for an argument is really unforgivable.
But there's some things I just don't want to hear. And there's some things I just don't want to remember. And to be reminded of how worthless I was to the one person in this world who should love me unconditionally, especially in a time where I've driven the second person of that same criteria to the brink of a similar act, has just put me in a place where I really don't want to be.
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Just remember that we are here for you. If you ever need to rant unconditionally or even if you just need to get in a car and sit without talking you know who you can call.
You don't need to be alone.
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